God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want nice things and good sex
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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