Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
