dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
