worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
