Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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