What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
