You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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