someone threw a dead crab at me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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