How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
