this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This baby is an asshole
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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