In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize