I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
