I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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