Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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