For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I FOUND THE LEGS
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
