Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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