Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
