Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
