Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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