Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize