I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so let's talk penis.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Two words: nipple clamps
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