so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
