Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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