"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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