Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
