i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
