Don't you send me to vm
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
