The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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