hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
