i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
