WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
