I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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