There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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