We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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