So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
