you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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