what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
