I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
