therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
