We won't sleep together?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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