i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize