Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
