Buhtt sex?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
