could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
