OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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