my mouth tastes like poor choices
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
is that a dick in a sweater?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
