I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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