we're blogging at a bar
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
