it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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