Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He felt like a one man threesome
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
