Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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