Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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