She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
