i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
