How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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