Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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