thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
