we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
