I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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