I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
