I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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