you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
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she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
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I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...