Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

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  (712): Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood. http://tfl.nu/9bbv
  Replies (10) Good night (1563) Bad night (524)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick

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  (804): quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick http://tfl.nu/5pdl
  Replies (7) Good night (4071) Bad night (558)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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  (517): the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/ah1s
  Replies (36) Good night (881) Bad night (4627)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.

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  (815): i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision. http://tfl.nu/h6vg
  Replies (17) Good night (8803) Bad night (951)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"

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  (225): I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed" http://tfl.nu/96g5
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (3518)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.

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  (617): Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club. http://tfl.nu/jnj2
  Replies (6) Good night (982) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

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  (615): Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs. http://tfl.nu/w8zn
  Replies (16) Good night (4861) Bad night (864)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.

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  (360): No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gf5w
  Replies (11) Good night (3492) Bad night (881)
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  (707): View more from California

  someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.

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  (707): someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine. http://tfl.nu/envi
  Replies (26) Good night (2204) Bad night (1417)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

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  (563): Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties http://tfl.nu/ywu8
  Replies (16) Good night (5234) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve

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  (412): Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve http://tfl.nu/y29u
  Replies (11) Good night (3119) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.

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  (517): Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call. http://tfl.nu/hx3q
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (2960)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.

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  (909): he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him. http://tfl.nu/hp2h
  Replies (6) Good night (1725) Bad night (708)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...

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  (250): Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night... http://tfl.nu/bamz
  Replies (9) Good night (434) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.

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  (415): I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not. http://tfl.nu/y17v
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (831)

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