Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...

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(313): so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal... http://tfl.nu/prbt

Replies (8) Good night (849) Bad night (3248)
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(740): View more from Ohio

i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

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(740): i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina http://tfl.nu/02ir

Replies (35) Good night (770) Bad night (4698)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?

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(908): Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable? http://tfl.nu/mn26

Replies (7) Good night (4013) Bad night (528)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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(414): You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning. http://tfl.nu/dt9p

Replies (9) Good night (5243) Bad night (597)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.

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(757): Just try to lay there and not be pregnant. http://tfl.nu/a665

Replies (56) Good night (1445) Bad night (6847)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

i always knew you were classy

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(603): laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom.... (1-605): i always knew you were classy http://tfl.nu/hf24

Replies (44) Good night (1909) Bad night (5343)
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(240): View more from Maryland

this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.

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(240): this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday. http://tfl.nu/pumo

Replies (30) Good night (12146) Bad night (897)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level

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(484): Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level http://tfl.nu/da15

Replies (2) Good night (1817) Bad night (641)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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(479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko

Replies (26) Good night (1010) Bad night (1788)
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(775): View more from Nevada

We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne

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(775): We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne http://tfl.nu/t4g9

Replies (5) Good night (1240) Bad night (528)
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(519): View more from Ontario

he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.

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(519): he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint. http://tfl.nu/fup1

Replies (4) Good night (1340) Bad night (559)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate

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(856): Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate http://tfl.nu/thdo

Replies (3) Good night (1123) Bad night (524)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away

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(419): I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away http://tfl.nu/9ufh

Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (954)
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(850): View more from Florida

Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.

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(850): Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable. http://tfl.nu/it4b

Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (361)
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(407): View more from Florida

Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

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(407): Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? http://tfl.nu/oobh

Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (294)

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